Into the fire again

Alot of things have changed and happened lately, I been busy quite a bit lately.

I opened up my website http://botany-eh.ca

It's pretty much a legal high site that I'll be promoting it and working with it for additional income. I'm going to try my best to explore the spiritual aspect of various substances, like any tool herbs can be used for bad or good things.

I been enduring more then ever before, it's intense, but I'm going to have to take on more suffering to get where I would like to be.

I never reached my limit after getting out of the hospital, never lost it in years, so I need to keep an eye on stress levels.

I'm starting to feel a bit isolated, I work all day and don't do much socializing, but I think I need the alone time more then ever. My symptoms seem to be subsiding and fading away, I'm kinda sad in a way because I felt so important with the symptoms, I felt that there was more purpose to my life then what meets the eyes.

Now I need to overcome a depression of sorts, get out of the lazy way of life, I need to wake up early, dedicate my attention to tasks that need to be completed. Organize my life and I'll be all set, I need to create a system to manage it.

So as much of a burden current events are on me lately, I must continue to walk through this painful fire, It's going to wear me down, but if done right I can save a few years of life in the long run and control my stress levels.

Right now im in a new city, 300-400 km away from my home town, first time out very long, its been almost 8 years now. Moneys been tight, it just adds to the stress, but I knew my little mission would not be as easy as it looked in my mind. The complexity of the situation continues to grow.

My friend got jumped the other day, I guess she has 3000$ worth of teeth work that needs to be done, 2 guys vs one girl isn't very impressive. Maybe she was being too flashy in the bars cause she did happen to get robbed. Lesson would be, don't flash money around people who have none.

My vision of my future seems to be drastically changing, I figured it would be a walk in the park, but it's so very intense. I know for a fact this point in my life will determine much more to come, its a key factor in my life, a dynamic variable that I'm unable to predict.

I believe this is the point where I was in a sense back just before I went insane, I need to now test the limits of my mind and medication.

Business seems to be my main obsession right now, I just need to organize my data and prioritize things that need to be done, once I get on top of my game I'll walk through this fire no problem, in fact I'll even put the fire out as I go.